WHY?

What is your  WHY?  What a crazy question.  I have been in Direct Sales for 16 years.  Right now, I am just dabbling in it.  But my first rodeo,I went full blast. I even earned several trips.  The main question in this line of business is,  "What is your WHY?"  When you know your "WHY" you are ready to give it your all and do what it takes to make the business fly!

I really had my "WHY" years ago. Having a WHY was rewarding!

Now that I am less GUN HO on building an empire...cough cough.  I find that my WHY is gone.  Yes, gone, no longer there, zip and nadda!  And that is too bad because there are some great direct marketing businesses out there that need the passionate sales person.

My WHY has changed. Why does Hope do what she does?  Why? Why? Why?  And there is no answer.  The business WHY was so much more predictable! WHY is like a cuss word to me now!

Tom asks WHY all the time.  He says it's because of  his profession, he always had to question everything.  I personally hate the word WHY when it comes to just a conversation. ( Hate is such a strong word)  I am naturally curious, so when I am asked WHY, I answer BECAUSE.  These one line conversations can get you in a heap of trouble.  After 2 months of retirement under his belt, I have almost broken him of his WHY.  Today, in a passing conversation, I asked him, " Are you going to the fitness center this morning?"  He caught his WHY mid sentence and replied, " You are just wondering, right?"  YAY me!  It like breaking a horse!

I don't know WHY I can't stand the word WHY.  It is in the Bible. Everyone says it.  I just don't like it! True confession....I use it and I cringe.

 Thanks for letting me vent!

Why? Because! And You're Welcome!

Hope went to Prom!

Memories of my first and only prom swept over me last week as I shopped for  accessories required for Hope's first prom.  My mom made my dress and I still have it in the closet.  I loved the fabric, it was colorful and fun!  I wore my hair down and carried a bouquet.  My date and I matched, this was the '70's and such a magical time. Back then, we had Senior Prom.  No Junior/Senior Prom. No prom for the sake of prom.  One prom, your Senior year unless, of course, you had a date to every other HS in town.

I have 3 older daughters and they each have their prom experiences of riding in a limo, dining at a fine restaurant, dancing the night way and coming home at 10 am the next morning!  I knew with Hope, that we had a window of opportunity to make this the best Prom ever!  Hope does not last long in any social situation.  If she had the prom of her sisters, she would have been DONE after the limo ride.  She can only handle one experience at a time.

Hope's Prom was for Special Kids.

With Hope's wardrobe, I knew that I would have to go for comfort.  First up was the shoes!  Sparkly and high top with pink shoe laces.  She wore them every night after school so I knew it was a winner.  Her dress was black lace, stretchy and comfy!  I didn't let her see the other accessories until we were ready to go to the prom.
We took pictures at home and she was excited.

The prom began at 7 pm. We arrived at 6:55.

Hope danced to the songs she loved and hugged on all of her friends.  She didn't hang close to me and I was able to enjoy a conversation with the other mom's. One mom, who's son LOVES girls, told me that  she HAD to stay close by her son or else he would pat all the girls butts. HA  I guess she had to be the Butt Police!  Another mom cried all night at home because her daughter was so beautiful and grown up, her daughter took her grandpa to the dance.  Some of the kids had dates.  One couple got engaged at the dance.  Another friend claimed the dance as her birthday party!  Lucky!  Our kids are special.

The prom ended at 9pm.

But we weren't there to see everyone get crowned king and queen.

At 7:45, Hope was done.  She danced, had a snack and was done.  DONE DONE DONE! As she headed toward the door to leave (without telling me) I caught her and asked if she wanted to dance with me.  She said, " I need to get out of here!" Ok then...I convinced her to say goodbye to her friends and dance teacher before we made our exit.

She did it!  She went to a prom.  She stayed 45 minutes.

I have had all weekend to reflect on this night. 

Reflection:
As I drove home from the Prom with Hope at my side, I had mixed emotions.  The whata, shoulda, coulda kind.  My feelings flowed from "YAY, she stayed 45 minutes" to " Why couldn't she hang in there longer?"  Is is always an emotional roller coaster for me.  That is selfish and I know it.

Every kid there had a parent somewhere, hoping and praying for a great night.  There were so many prayers lifted for each and every one present.  Prayers for Hope were answered....She went. Period.  So why do I always feel defeated? Because I allow myself to feel that way.  Eventually, I put my big girl panties on and dealt with the feelings.  Hope had fun and it wasn't suppose to be about me!!!!!

Her prom for me was getting all the "stuff".  When we got home that evening, she did NOT take off her prom dress, nor did she remove her accessories!  She wore them until she went to bed.  I could hear her talking to all those imaginary friends, in her room, telling them all about the prom.

I am truly blessed.  Sometimes, I just need to reflect on it.

We have added Bees!

harvesting pumpkins

New chapter in my life of cooking.  We have strawberries planted and many fruit trees.  Last fall it was all about pumpkins! Experimentation time!  Oh how I love the science of cooking!  Through this blog, I am hoping to test some recipes and share them with you!

Did I mention that we are also going to have bee hives?  The whole idea of bees is really not very pleasant to me. Fruits and vegetables don't sting!  Tom has been talking about raising bees for the last 5 years.  Before we had land, he was going to put them in the backyard.  YIKES!!  NO WAY! Now that he is retired and has land, I am not fighting it.   Hope doesn't like bees.  She was stung in the eye by a wasp this past summer.  You should have seen her "look" when Tom told her that she will be the Bee Queen at the fair.  She wants nothing to do with that.  I, on the other hand, would love to market items with a bee motif.  I think that bees look cute on fabric, hair ties, bow ties and stone carvings. Our honey jars could have a catchy label!  That excites me!  Maybe I could be Bee Queen at the fair!

I remember when his distant cousin, Tommy Thompson, a past governor of Wisconsin, made the statement that honey was "bee poop".  I can't get that out of my mind.  The bee producers of Wisconsin weren't too happy!  Honey has never been my go-to sweetener.  But.....things are going to change!  Oh....this retirement....how sweet....I have a new chapter in my life of cooking and it will involve bee poop, strawberries, apples, peaches, numerous vegetables and possibly a partridge in a pear tree.

A partridge?  I am sure that fowl will be part of this retirement!  He is already talking about what kind of hen house he wants and the type a fence to build.  We may as well have chickens, I will need eggs for my recipes....and a cow for milk and butter.  What's left?  Oh ya, a goat for the soap I plan to make with it's milk!

Stay tuned!

We Got This!

Retirement has thrown a loop into Hope's day.  Her DADA is home.  I don't know who is more thrown by the morning routine, Hope or me.

Imagine having only one person help you in the morning for 18 years and all of a sudden there is a "time master" involved.  "Time master"!  Ya, I made that name up.  I also am making up the definition.  A "time master" is a person that infringes their idea of a schedule on others.   This "time master" messes with the balance of Hope and my universe.

Getting Hope ready in the morning is like an orchestrated Ballet with a demanding Prima Donna.  She barks out the same orders every morning, and I ignore her. I am already doing what it is she wants because it is part of the routine.  I think she just like to ask me to....get a drink, make an egg, get medicine, comb hair as part of her comfort.  When the "time master" entered the equation, he wanted to answer her demands.
 JUST STOP...WE GOT THIS!

The other day, he sat in the dining chair that is directly in my path.  I snapped at him! He was shocked! Hope snapped too!  It was a flipp'n circus!  The whole morning rhythm was off! She got to school 10 minutes early.  And it went down hill from there!
WE GOTTA GET THIS!

There have been painters in the house since Monday.  We are really off our game.  The kitchen and TV room are off limits and there is a tight squeeze at the breakfast table.  Breakfast was not the same since the stove was off limits for cooking.  We just couldn't get the proper rhythm of the morning. Fact: from my house to school it takes 12 minutes.  If you leave by 8:15, you can still be early. Yesterday, the "time master" took her, she was 20 minutes early.  That is 20 minutes of sitting in the car, staring at the school gym door for the teacher.   Hope was thrown for the rest of the day.  Her behavior has been "not the best" and has been sent home early quite a bit this past month.  Tom picked her up early yesterday and was asked, " She has a change in behavior, has something changed at home?" Tom's reply, " I'm home now, I guess I better go get a job!"
 NO ONE GOT THIS!

This is the beginning of the second month of retirement. I wonder if we will ever GET IT.  Time will tell and the "Time Master" will do the telling!  Our morning routine has got to get better!

Great news, Hope had Three great days this week!  And tomorrow is another day! WE GOT THIS!

Reading and Hope

Every time we go to the Dollar Tree, Hope buys a novel  or two or three.  They are a dollar so I don't care what she buys.  I can't figure out what the attraction is. She picks up a  book, examines the cover, feels for the weight, flips through the pages and either accepts or rejects it.  So many times, I have tried to steer her to a book that I would like.  She doesn't fall for it!

When we get home, she takes them to her room.  Here she will place them in a bag or put a bag in them as a bookmark.  She does not read the books.

If we go to Target, I won’t let her buy books.  They are full price at Target!!!  She has purchased from the Goodwill but the Goodwill has purses and hats and that usually supersedes a book.

She has taken the newspaper right from under my nose.

 “ Get back here, I’m still reading this!” I will shout!  ( yes I am a shouter)

“But I need it!” she shouts back.  It is the same with magazines and mail.  If I don’t watch my stuff, it goes to her room.

Hope doesn’t read.  We are going to change that.

For eight weeks this year, we are in a group of like minded students. The program is Special Reads for Special Needs.  It teaches reading through the HEART.  We are writing easy stories about Birthday’s, Shopping and Fashion.  This is very exciting.

I have tried this approach with my “typical grandchild” Harper, age 4.  She is whizzing right through.  There is a book called I See and the first story is about a bird, a red bird.  After Harper read it through several times, I asked her what the story was about.  She said, “It’s about a red bird, but actually, it is about a cardinal.”  Smarty pants!

If you are interested in checking out this program go to www.specialreads.com/blog/

Stay tuned….Reading is in our future!

Kiss Away, Hope loves Mistletoe!

Kiss Away! Hope loves Mistletoe!

My Christmas tree is still up.  Last year I didn't put one up at all.  The year Hope was born, the Christmas tree stayed up until May!

In my living room I hung garland with snowflakes dangling from them.  That was 3 years ago, I haven't even dusted them.  The mistletoe in each doorway has been there just as long.

Is this laziness? Is this procrastination? Is this apathy?

Whatever it is.....it is a conversation piece when you come to my home.  People don't know whether kissing under the mistletoe is a yearly thing or just saved for the Christmas season.  I say..."GO FOR IT! KISS AWAY!" There is no reason to be confused!  JUST DO IT!

The year we remodeled all the bathrooms, my 10 foot tall plumber hit his head on the mistletoe every time he walked under the door ways.  It really made me giggle since he and I were the only ones in the house.

I had a luncheon with my mom's friends and one of the ladies just stood under it hoping that some good looking man would appear from nowhere and kiss her.  Tom wasn't going to be home for hours, so I told her sit down.

When I cleared out some of the many toy totes in the garage, I found an extension pointer.  You know the kind of pointer important people use when they point at a black board, white board or screen.  It wasn't until I went to an after Christmas sale at Tuesday Morning that I found out it was actually a Mistletoe Dangler!  Yes, a Dangler.  You put the mistletoe on the end that has a loop,dangle it over someones head and kiss. This would be a forced kiss or a tricked kiss but a kiss just the same!! Marvelous invention wouldn't you say? And I had no clue that we owned one.  I am sure it was one of Hope's purchases at the Dollar Tree at some point.  She loves Mistletoe and she knows how to use it!   The Dangler is at the cabin, I hope that I remember to use it next Christmas,after all, it is a seasonal thing!

I'm not lazy, a procrastinator or apathetic.  I just think, who is it going to hurt if Christmas Joy can last forever or at least until the Mistletoe falls off the door frame because the tape is 3 years old.

Pretty strong tape, may stay up for years!!!

Hope turns 18 on Friday

I cannot believe Hope is turning 18.  She can vote! She can buy cigarettes!  If I went on and on about the things she can legally do, I would have to be sedated.  I sure hope that she doesn't want to smoke!

Birthday's to Hope are just like Christmas....PRESENTS.   Over the years we have lavished her with toys, books, clothes, hats and wigs.  What we have learned through these years is that she is really very easy to gift.  She loves gift bags and wouldn't even care if there was nothing in it but tissue.  Yes, she is that easy to buy for.  The more cards and gift bag, they louder she squeals, " Oh Thank you!"  PRESENTS....Hope loves them.

We started a tradition of going to Build-a- Bear on her birthday.  She always names it Cindy!
Yesterday would have been a perfect day...no school.  She just wanted to stay home in her room.

Every year we ask, "Where do you want to go eat for your Birthday?" She throws her arms in the air and shouts, " IHOP!"( it looks like her name)  We convince her to go elsewhere but she always wants IHOP.   We don't!  She is that easy, we go to CLEAVERS and she orders chicken.  One year, she talked about going to RED LOBSTER.  She even mentioned that this year. I'm ready, I have gift cards.  She will change her mind to IHOP and we will go to CLEAVERS and she will order chicken.

For the past 3 years, she has asked for a pinata!  That would be fun.  I think it just may happen this year.  You realize that she will just put it in her room and no one will ever hit it!  That is just the way it is.

Bissy and I went to a party that had a "Dirty Santa" exchange.  We both got things that Hope would love, I have them saved for her birthday.  Gift bags with stuff...A good thing!

Hope loves birthday cake, candles and Ice cream.  The more frosting the better!  This year, I plan to get an ice cream cake at Lic's.  Mainly because when Bissy turned 30 in September, she asked for an Ice cream cake and didn't get it.  Happy Birthday Bissy through Hope.

I remember my 18th birthday, I started college and the drinking age was changed to 18 in the state of Iowa.  I think maybe that would have caused any parent to be sedated!!

What did you do on your 18th birthday?????

Hope was 10 the first time she went to Build a Bear.