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Thursday, July 20, 2017

Summertime with HOPE

Hangery?  Hungry and Angry at the same time.  Nope....that's not my problem.  My problem stems from 3 Tablets that are at 0% charged.  This causes anger and frustration with Hope  and ME.

Addiction?  Yes, there is an addiction to these tablets.  My fault and now I am trying to figure out how to get it under control.  I have been to enough self help and anonymous  meetings and read plenty of how to books that I should really be an expert.  But I am NOT!  I'm just your classic Co-dependent.

Summer is hard on both of us.  During the month of June, Hope had 4 weeks with 3 days of summer school so it kept her in a routine.  July came and wow.... she and I are totally out of control!  It's too hot to spend time outdoors because she over heats.  I put a plea out for friends with pools to let us swim and I haven't taken any of them up on their offers.  I. AM. OUT.OF. CONTROL.

Hope has the attention span of a Nat.  BUT when it comes to an Ipad, a Cell phone or a Tablet, she can spend hours staring at the screen.  She considers the characters on the screen her best friends.  And if I don't have 2 tablets charging so when the one she is using dies.....all hell can break loose!  And it is not pretty. On the other hand, when she has these electronics, she is perfectly happy.  THUS....The ADDICTION.

Routine,  that goes completely out the window in the summer.  It is going to be hard when school starts.  My main concern for her teachers after this summer break is how is she going to handle routine again.  She seems to have an increased impatience level.  It is a demanding presence and not easy to cope with.  Last night, I was trying hard to teach patience.  We use, First this, Then that.  It's hard....real hard.  And I use this technique all the time.

What is First this, Then that?   I'm glad you asked!!

When she gets a hair in her butt about wanting to do something or eat something or wear something and it also requires my assistance, I stall the activity with  First this, Then That.

Example 1:
She wanted dessert, and we weren't even done eating.  I say, "First we finish supper and  I clean up the dishes, then we will have dessert." Sounds reasonable doesn't it.  It's not!  The struggle to get the dishes done sometimes last longer than if I would have just given in. She will add more demands to the list and the the idea of dessert if over and she is demanding a new demand!  Patience, please.....where are you!  Once things are settled and I am exhausted from sticking to my guns, she is usually off with the electronic device and forgotten about the blasted dessert.  Dessert is usually ice cream.  Not just Ice Cream...It has to have this and that on it.  I have a rule, don't buy fancy Ice Cream for Hope, she just loads it up with nuts, and chocolate, and whipped cream and fruit and cereal and and and.....Oh and she eats it with a fork!!!



Example 2:
And it is happening right now as I type.   She wants to go in my room and get some clothes.  Background, she already has a pile of clothes that she put in her room 15 minutes ago, I have locked my room so she can't get in but she WANTS more.   I am suppose to say, "First I finish typing then we will get some clothes."   However, I don't say that...I get a TONE..." HUMMM you already have clothes, STAY OUT of here, I'm Blogging!" That gets you nowhere...then the whining and the name calling and the slamming of doors occurs.  And I just sit here blogging away, talking to you....I hope you are listening!
This room does not need any more clothes on the floor!

The ranting is done, I never left the computer and I hear her humming in her room.  Unpredictable.  And I used a TONE!  Go figure!

What I'm trying to communicate  with you is, there are times when I feel like I really SUCK as a parent to a child with special needs.   And when she finally gets her way, she loves me again and I hear it over and over...." I love you, mom. You're so Pretty!"  The struggle is real!

 Well bye for now. I have to see that the tablets are fully charged to alleviate a future meltdown. And, she is probably sitting in the car in the hot garage thinking that I will be there to drive to the Dollar Tree!  Not happening!  Great motto for this ALL of this First Things First, after all I am a co-dependent!


1 comment:

  1. Cinda, you are a great parent to Hope and don't you ever forget that. She is a better person because of your smile, your sense of humor and the trips you take to the Dollar Store. Keep moving forward and blogging. I need you humor.

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